Covert special interviews This time: DMC
by Semiramis-Audron
Summary: TV-Show-like interviews, hosted by me. Guests from DMC appearing Dante, Vergil, Trish and so on. Lots of fun, lots of embarrasment, lots of grammar mistakes :P Enjoy it and please review! FINISHED! Wednesday 20.05.2005.
1. Covert special interviews

**Disclaimer: Most of the characters do not belong to me. The story does! I don't want it to be copied, reposted or rewritten in any form. Thanks! **

**Note: I will finish it as soon as possible. Had just no more time yesterday. And I'm almost disavowing the existence of DMC2 for it was not a really good story and there was for fucking hell no Vergil in it!**

**Note 2: I'm female, I like Vergil more than Dante and you will notice that!**

**Note 3: I decide to do this in two chapters now, toget at least a bit clarity in.**

* * *

"Hello fans and welcome to another part of -Covert special interviews- brief -CSI- I'm your foreign host Semiramis. Today depending on current events we got a special guest from Devil May Cry 3 cast!" 

Various girls shouting: "DANTE! DANTE! WE LOVE DANTE!" are drown out by some boys shouting "DANTE! WE WANT TO SEE YOUR LOOONG SWORD, YOU BITCHY DEVIL!"

Me clearing my throat and shouting back. "NO IT'S NOT DANTE! CALM DOWN!"

Several leave the studio giving me the finger, what we're not showing to the camera. 80 of my audience is missing...

"As I said... a special guest that is not Dante..., but his look should please the rest that hasn't left yet. Because... He is his twin brother! Yes the introvert, intelligent, inaccessible identity... Vergil! "

My assistant runs to me whispering something into my ear. "What? Erm... yes... no... Of course they can... we got enough room now..."

"I just got the message that some people from –VIVP- are coming to see us, now they found out who our guest is... So we take a commercial break till they're here..."

**o**

**--- (Buy Tootzy it's remarkably soft to your throat for a hairbrush. Sponsored by SM-Corporation.)---**

**o**

"Were back folks! And as you all know, Vergil hates publicity so first he did not even wanted to talk to us." Shouting at my assistant I ad "PROBABLY CAUSE SOMEONE CALLED HIM AT 5 IN THE MORNING!"

I calm my self down and continue. "We managed to get an interview with him, but he still doesn't want to partake in person..." Mostly some heavy make upped chicks from the -VIVP- groan in agony.

"No fear ladies we persuaded him to change from phone to web camera. Let's hope he got no cheap one!" I really hope it for the quota...

"Erm... Semi... we got a problem!" Raising an eyebrow I ask, what I should not. "What problem?"

"Erm... we can't get a connection yet... Win XP you know..." A little vein pops out on my forehead.

"Oh---Kay---... Then probably we chat a bit with the audience, who want' s to chat with me?" All hands down... Sweat drops on my upper lip... BASTARDS!

"Not everyone at once, please... ok you!" A girl pointing at herself and asking back" Who me? Na! Not me!"

I grab her and drag her onto the stage, push her into the armchair and start interviewing.

"So what's your name? Susy ok and why did you want to see my show?"

She's gliding round on the chair, making me nervous. "Cause Vergy-baby will be in it!"

"I see... so you're from the –VIVP-? Is that a Vergil fan club?" She giggles as if she knew something I didn't.

"Na we call us the -Vergil In Various Pairings-. We write fan fics about Vergil giving other characters, DMC and cross over, a good fu...dge..."

"Fudge?... Oh you can say the word we're x-rated!" So she says the word. I shouldn't have told her that. Because... I could guess the details but she's too fast and tells it to the audience.

So we hear some very... juicily, stained... details about her favourite pairings including

Vergil-Mundus, well it was obvious that the poor boy was raped!

Vergil-Arkham, ...well we guessed that, too.

Vergil- a Teletubbie called Dipsy, ... what's a dip thy! Oops I misheard...

Vergil- the whole Gryffindor Quidditch team (including Mr. Harry Potter). I'm just shaking in disgust at this thought,

Vergil- various animals (although with some of them I thought it to be anatomically impossible)

Vergil- various groceries... at least the yoghurt would explain his nice skin...

Vergil- Luciano Pavarotti. Ok here it is getting even to heavy for me. So I'm relieved that my assistant comes...

"Semi... we got a connection!" So we turn round to the big screen and we see... black.

"YOU SAID WE GOT A CONNECTION!"

He bows and nearly cries. "We got... we got it must be a problem at his side..." My ears twitch and I tell the murmuring audience to shut up.

"Well folks... we seem to have sound at least, so fuck off and we start!" I'm a bit worried about the blokes from –VIVP- getting several boxes of hankies out but I ignore it...

"Erm... Mr. Vergil? Can you hear me?" No answer... just some sort of typing and than a familiar voice appearing in the background...

"Mirror, mirror on the wall... who's the horniest guy of all?" ... we're all slightly confused...

A head looks through the studio door, it belongs to one of the idiots that left before the break.

"We heard Dante, when we were at Starbucks, can we come in?" SB? That' s nearly half a mile... how could they...? Oh screw it...

"Yes but be quiet, we just got sound." I try it again but no one answers. Than I'm just whispering comments at the audience while we turn up the volume.

"Possible that you're a tiny bit narcissistic, bro?" Oh ladies that's Vergil. Why is he with Dante?

"Hey fuck of! You're in my house, it's my interview so you do what I say!" Vergil's at the -Devil Never Cry-?

"You egomaniac once in your life it's NOT you're damn interview! It's mine... so could you please leave the room!" Uhh Vergil's getting angry... beside... sexy voice, that Vergil!

Some of the guys from –VIVP- look at me. I nod... "Yes I prefer Vergil over Dante, now shut up!"

"I wont let you alone with my computer! You'll download some porn!" What? What? What? Vergil... porn... Vergil!

"That's... none of my concern! I'm not like Trish you know!" Some girls shout "OH MY GOD! HE'S IMPOTENT! NO MAN OF HIS BEAUTY IS CARING A SHIT ABOUT PORN! I tell them to quiet and ask them if they would tell their brothers about their sexual preferences... they got the point and calm.

"Trish? Trish's downloading porn? Who told you that stuff?" Oh yes... who told him that... beside... Trish? Well we knew she's a slag. Some of the Dante fans agree with me.

"Well you got your web cam online all the day. I sometimes visit your homepage to see what my 'lil brother's doing... So I saw her... and the facts are undeniable..." So Vergil's watching Trish, who is watching porn? What a weird family, if we count that she looks like his mother...

"Wait... you say it's online every day... even..." We actually HEAR Dante gulp... oh what's coming now? "...Even... on Thursday evenings?" We don't hear something, but it seems that Vergil nodded, because Dante is speaking...

"But on Thursdays... I'm...!" Boy what are you... on Thursdays? The Audience wants to know! Uh that'll raise the quota! Fuck you Jerry Springer and Co.! I'm the queen of talk!

"I know what you're doing on Thursdays... What do you think why I laid a towel over the chair before I sat down? You're disgusting Dante... Now FIX THAT DAMN PC!" Oh is he doing what we think he is doing on Thursdays? Well that'll stay one of life's great mysteries.

"Hey, Verge...Sound connection's already working I just forgot to turn up the volume...oops..." Ladies and gentleman, I think we soon will have a video connection, too. You're allowed to freak out.

"What do you want to say with...-OOPS- !" Oh-Oh... Do they find out we eavesdropped...

"I wanna say... the mic already worked, too..." Wuahahaha yes it did Dante, it did... Uh how we wish to see the expression on Vergil's face now...

"I KILL YOU!" We hear some furnish breaking than the sound connection brakes down, too.

"Well audience... erm... we try to mend that... meanwhile you can go to the lavatory... Especially you blokes! And Wash your hands you pigs! Don't think I haven't seen you mastur... What? We're still transmitting! CUT CUT CUT!

10 minutes commercial... That'll ruin the quota...sobs

**o**

**---(No one will kick your ass when you got none. For details ask your local beauty surgery)---**

**o**

"Ok everyone's here again? Fine!" I turn to the screen that still is black. "Erm... Mr. Vergil?"

The screen flickers and Dante's face pops in so close to the camera we can see the hairs in his nose...

"I think it works now, Vergil. Oh hy... you must be that Semiramis. I think we should start in my childhood... I've always been an intelligent, handsome little..." Vergil tries to kick him out of the vision, but Dante is ignoring him, continuing his autobiography.

"Erm... sorry Mister Dante but actually... This is an interview with your brother..." I have to repeat because Dante is not listening... Then he stunned stares into the camera.

"Vergil? Why? Oh I see you're kidding! I'm the principal of the series! He's just, well, props..." He finally is kicked out of vision by Vergil, who carefully sits down on the chair. (We remember the Thursday thing and consider asking... not yet...) He turns his head to Dante.

"Probably because they'd like a level in their transmission, you can't reach, hillbilly!" He turns round to us and I have to fight down a heavy laugh... high level... after this discussion about porn? I don't think so!

"Hello. I have to excuse my brother, he is always embarrassing me. As apology I will answer some more questions than I planned. Is this acceptable for you?" Someone gave me a little button to turn off my mic, I do so and address to the audience.

"Hey he's much nicer than in the game... isn't he?" Some are slightly disappointed they like his demonic, vicious side.

"Yes, of course, Mr. Vergil... Ok. The first question is from me. Probably the audience is interested, too. Why are you at your brother's house?" He's already opening his mouth, when Dante is shouting from the background.

"CAUSE HE'S TOO CLUMSY TO GET A CONNECTION FROM HIS OWN PC!" Vergil is throwing somewhat into the direction of his brother. We hear an "OW!" And Vergil leans back with arms folded in front of his chest.

"Actually this is rubbish. Sorry, but I don't want my privacy to become public. That contains my home, too. You wont see even one pixel of it. So I have to use my brother's." We're disenchanted but happy to talk to Vergil at least.

Girl from the audience shouting: "Did you have a liaison with Trish when you worked for DMC1?"

He sighs: "I knew this would come... No, I hadn't. She's not my type." He waits for the next question, would someone please?

A huge guy with extremely female eyelashes: "What's your type, then. Vergy-honey?"

He raises an eyebrow, some other girls and me nearly faint because of the oomph! He wants to answer but is disturbed by Dante who pressed himself into vision.

"Bold men with odd eyes and large men with stony skin!" The eyelash guy is delighted; he twinkles at Vergil, who kicks his brother to where no sun is shining.

"You! Don't call me that again! No I wont tell you my type! Just that much... my type's female!" He seems to be slightly nervous... strange?

The eyelash guy shouting again: "WHY CAN'T WE CALL YOU VERGY-HONEY, SWEETHEART-VERGY-KITTY?"

Vergil nearly crashes from his chair in shock. "THAT NEITHER! This interview is finished!"

I, completely mental shattered, am begging him not to quit. And try to get rid of that bloke. "SECURITY! SECURITY! NO ONE IS ANNOYING MY GUEST IN MY SHOW; APART FROM ME!"

commercial break

o

( Demons all around you and you want someone to kick their asses? Call 800-Devil Never Cry! It'll be one hell of a party!)

o

"Ok. But anymore guys like that one and I...Oh it seems you're on transmission again." I turn round from the big screen on which Vergil's face glares at me in a mixture of compassion and annoyance.

"Oops... right... Well we're back and as you see Vergil's still online so PLEASE! don't fucking anger him again!" My very clever audience is understanding the situation and calms down a bit.

Girl in grey dress shouting: "Vergil, I heard from someone, that you and Arkham... well... that you two were a couple...?" I slap my hand towards my forehead and groan in mental pain. But he just laughs... maybe I'm saved.

"Was that SOMEONE... Dante? Because I heard that a lot times, too. He's running 'round with that rumour!" He turns his head slightly aside to look what his brother is planning right now. Than answers.

"Again, no! We were good colleagues at the work for the game, but when he received the script about the development of his character, he... well lets just say there had been some unsolvable discrepancies. You know the game."

I get my the third bottle of water, for I'm a nervous wreck. Just one wrong word... but he seemed calmed. A tiny girl with short dark hair, white blouse and hot pants or somewhat is standing up. She reminds me of a person... a cosplayer?

"Vergil is it true that you took Mary's aka. Lady's virginity!" Now I know on who she remembers me... He sighs and skims his hair back.

"What? Is that the only subject you got in mind? My sexual penchants! Can't you ask some normal questions? For example how it was to fight with my father's sword or how bad the fee was for nearly letting myself being killed once again!" At this point I really have to interfere.

"Actually Mr. Vergil... these ARE the normal questions in a fan interview. Gladly you're not a woman or they would have asked you about your favourite positions of the Kamasutra..." I'm not happy that he looks at me in this 'You're all scum!' way now...

"Yeah! I wanna know that, bro!" Dante's leaning against a wall in the background and looking really honest.

"You recovered? I should have beaten you harder!" Dante strangely enough stays in the background and is not giving a quick-witted reply. We should worry about Vergil, I think...

I really have to ask him a serious question, or this show will be cancelled. "Erm... At the end of DMC3 we see you running at Mundus for fighting against this bastard... but as we know from DMC1 you will loose that fight, so... How can you arrange the script with your pride?"

He seems to be pleased that finally someone took this serious. "We had a lot debates about this. They made different plots about loosing the fight or just serving Mundus because he blackmailed me to kill Dante. And they had this strange idea that in this plot deep in my black heart was still some love for my brother... These were their words! Another thing was that, I in the fight, was shortly distracted by a vision of my mother. Turning out to be Trish actually. What gave Mundus the time to smack my head so I would loose my memory and he would tell that I always had been Nelo Angelo..."

He's talking about more plots but we finally want to now the one and only. "So what will be happening? Tell us please!" He bows nearer to the camera and whispers in a dark voice, scaring the light out of us.

"You REALLY do want to hear what will occur?" We just nod with mouths open, the tension is at the highest point.

"Dunno!" We all crash on the floor, how could he do that to us? Well, he's Vergil but that's not his kind of humour...

"I'm sorry for you! But they are not telling it to us until the work for the next part starts. Sometimes they just tell us what happens, five minutes before we have to play it. Right Dante?" Oh he's talking to his brother? Of course we make out they already know the story, of course, but don't want to tell us.

"Yeah, guess they don't want spoilers in the web." Suddenly the door of the room we look in flips open and a blonde enters. Hey we know her! But she's wearing an apron and carries a metal sheet...

"Dante, I baked some cookies for you and... What's this jerk doing here!" We just see Dante and Vergil's back. Dante tries to get Trish out of the room.

"Baked cookies? Did I miss something Dante?" Vergil's slightly confused, while his brother still can't shove Trish out. The look on her face turns from surprise to anger and than she starts to cry.

"You don't love me anymore!" Oh she's sobbing.

"Sure I love you Trish, we're just busy!" Obviously he don't want this to get public, or he wouldn't blush.

"I knew it, there is something between you and him! That's why you want me to get out!" She points at Vergil in disgust and blubbers on.

"No, no, Trish we're just brothers! And Vergil's got an interview to do!" He is despairing and still can't manage to calm her.

"Kiss my fucking ass! An interview in this small room! You're doing your perverted games and you even record it on video!" She turns to anger again and throws down the metal sheet.

"Erm... shall I leave?" Whole audience and me is shouting NOOOOOOO! at Vergil. This is much better than any daily soap!

Apparently the whole thing is a bit embarrassing for Vergil, so he condescends to something we would not expect him to. He tries to arbitrate.

"Listen Trish. Dante really loves you! The interview is real, just look at the screen. And we are surely not doing some kind of incest, here." He's saying this with such a calming, angelic voice she just has to believe him.

She rubs her eyes and still glum looks at him. "Ok... I trust Dante... but not you! I stay here!" Dante and Vergil sigh simultaneous just like real twins. The devil's son with the shoulder long hair takes place next to his brother.

Dante is excusing for Trish but only quiet for her not to hear it. "Sorry people, it's that special time of the month..." Vergil clicks his tongue.

"If you think this is hard, calculate how much months it were when I had to serve Mundus! He always took vacation at these days and I had to suffer under her capriciousness!" The brothers look at each other, very understanding.

"Well. Do you want to ask more questions?" Of course we want to. A men stands up opens his mouth and... once more the door flings open, against Trish's head. A cheerful young girl with a scar on her nose and eyes of different colours comes in.

"Hi Dante! I just forgot my knickers last night!" Vergil who awaited our question startles disbelieving, while Lady gets down, seeing him.

"Oh--- Hello Vergil...!" Uh it's very cold in this room now… The door is closed… Oh yes, we've omitted someone. Trish is standing there, glares at Lady and clenches her fists. On her face a dark shadow, her eyes like the blazing hellfire.

"YOU BITCH!" She sends an electric jolt at Lady than screeches at Dante.

"YOU WANKER! YOU SON OF A WHORE!" Well, insight is the first step to improvement, if you count that she looks like his mother...

"HEY! SHE'S MY MUM, TOO! Don't blame her for the family's black sheep!" Oh Vergil that was a slip up! Another lighting is missing his head for inches.

"YOU'RE NOT BETTER THAN HIM!" Vergil just found out that it's not healthy to get in the way of a couple's quarrel.

"DANTE IS MUCH BETTER THAN VERGIL, YOU BLOND SLATTERN!" Oh this turns out to become a bitch-mudslinging.

"OH GET HOME AND LET DADDY SWADDLE YOU, CHIT!" Lady's eyes narrow to slits, Vergil grabs Dante and drags him out of range, he already guesses what comes now.

"LET HIM OUT OF THIS!" Lady cocks her bazooka... Strangely enough Vergil is typing somewhat on the computer... Lady aims and... Dante can just holler.

"NOT IN MY HOUSE!" She shoots! ------------- Just black and white points flicker around on our screen...

"Erm... well it seems that we lost the connection to them... I'm sorry folks, but this seems to be the end of our show..." The people stand up, just those from the -VIVP- stay, praying that Vergil will be alright.

"Semi! Semi!" My assistant runs to me, stumbles, crashes onto his face, gets up and runs on. "We received an email!" I shrug and kick my water bottle in the can. The show was cool but it ended in a complete disaster.

"Wow. We got fucking emails every fucking day!" The sarcasm in my voice could make a clown cry... He shakes his head.

"NA. THIS ONE'S FROM VERGIL!" Oh that's what he typed. The rest of the audience listens up. My assi tells me the subject matter and we call the audience back. Yeah-ha!

"Folks we got a wonderful message! The show's not finished yet! We just got an email from Vergil, with a link in it! And the nice man wrote us, we should wait some minutes and then we can build a new connection with that link. And he will be there, again! Is that cool or what?"

Audience shouting and rejoicing, making lots of racket. Me, covering my ears 'cause they're already ringing...

"I propose we take another commercial break in which you can make your bet about which chick will win the brawl! I'd say 30 minutes at least 'cause we have Win XP..."

****

o

(You're tired of all the female, bitchy sidekicks? We can offer you reliable, erudite, male helpers. Call: 800- JesArk-and-Co No warranty for human specimen )---

o


	2. After the commercial

**o**

**---(You're tired of all the female, bitchy sidekicks? We can offer you reliable, erudite, male helpers. Call: 800- JesArk-and-Co No warranty for human specimen )---**

**o**

"... yes 10! No not more! D' you know how bad I'm paid here? I said ten on Lady! What?--- Oh we're here again. Hi folks!" Me startling and pretending not doing something like gambling... cough, cough turn round to the audience wave a hello and finally shout at my assistant.

"SECOND TIME YOU HAVEN'T TOLD ME! WHAT AM I PAYING YOU FOR!" He murmurs something like: "You ARE NOT paying me!" I give him money for a prostitute and beg him not to go to the trade union...

"Well, another problem served... Yes my friends we are back so let's look at the screen." It is black... no wait... someone is just bowing over the camera... Uh we know that chest, it's Vergil's obviously he plugs in the sound cable at the back of the computer.

We have a nice view over his chest his neck and finally we see his face again as he sits down.

"Hello again Mr. Vergil! We're really happy to see you in one piece... Could you tell us... what happened?" The expression on his face is rather tensed; something seems to make him feel uncomfortable... What might this be?

"Perhaps DANTE should tell this to you!" He roughly grabs his brother and presses him vehement down in the chair. Boah! Dante's got a black eye! Some girls cry in pain: "NO! DANTE YOU POOR BOY!" I'm a bit surprised... Mr. 'Fearless Demon Hunter' himself got punched by his girlfriend?

"So Dante... who did that to you? Trish or Lady? And which won the fight?" He scratches the back of his head and smiles at us. We can see is brother standing behind him, arms folded in front of his chest, though we can't see his face, I'm sure he looks very authoritarian right now.

"Erm... This actually... is from Vergil..." He points at his eye, peeks up to his twin and fast looks into the camera again. I cross my fingers and hope that he calls out the right girl...

"And who won?... Really ... none of both... After Lady killed my computer and the store. They decided to keep armistice and united against their what they called it: true enemy... men!" He grins but it's evidently very unnatural. I tell various still crying and sobbing girls from the audience to shut up and Dante continues.

"Primary... me... but have to ad: Vergil saved my fucking ass! He grasped my collar and my bike's key and dragged me out." Oh that's so nice from him. Various girls from the –VIVP- sigh with cloudy eyes. "Awe he's so selflessly caring!" Even Vergil sniggers. (In a masculine, demonic way... ''' )

"So... and when did he knock you out?" Girls: staring at me in anger... How can I tell such bad stuff about their cute, angelic Vergil! Me: just head shaking...

"When he stopped the bike I asked him where we are... and made familiarity with his fist." Vergil riding a motorbike... Just imagine this picture! Unaccustomed but coo-ool! Mm... Dante seems to feel here even more uncomfortable than Vergil...

"Ok, bro... I've told them... now it's your interview again." He jumps up like he was sitting on an electric chair. Vergil, angry staring at him, sits down...

"Well Vergil... as you can't reach me here... I hope... I can ask you. From where are you two getting online, now?" He sits very close to the camera we hardly can see something of the surrounding room. He still looks uncomfortable and angry, he turns his head for glaring at his brother. Dammit! We even now see nothing of the room.

"I still can not believe you make me go so far! How could I let me persuade to this?" Sceptical he shakes his head. A silver hair streak his swinging in front of his eyes, he wafts it aside. Several girls from the –VIVP- crash on the floor in unconsciousness and have to be carried out. Even I have to clench at my chair for my legs get weak... Gosh! What a pert boyish look that was...

He sighs and finally answers. "We actually are at ... my home..." Oh he's very clever, he covers his ears. All people from the –VIVP- freak out! The racket is nearly bursting my head!

"CALM DOWN YOU SAPS! We already have enough problems with the neighbourhood! Mr. Vergil? Could you please show us a bit of your home? Pleeaaase..." Everyone looks at him with big cute eyes. We're a mass of lil' puppies whom even a devil can't withstand.

He slightly leans back and we can take a glance along his head. Well... it's some sort of strange mix between gothic and baroque with a touch of Asian culture in it. Well... dark walls, black marble pillars with crimson veins in it, some book shelves. To say the truth we can't see very much of the room because it is very gloomy. Somehow it reminds at the throne room on Mallet Island...

"Can you give me the number of your interior designer?" Audience is laughing at me... If they would knew that I meant it serious... "Well folks don't let this sacrifice of him be for nothing! Ask you're stupid little questions!"

Man with lots of muscles. "How do you like it to be equated with a dragon?" All stare at the man in ignorance. Sentences like: "Huh? What's he talking 'bout?" Are murmured through the studio. Vergil raises an eyebrow.

"I'm sorry but that's a bit quoted out of context!" He's absolutely right, though I know what he means...

"HE MEANS YOU'RE UGLY, FAT AND GOT REALLY BAD HALITOSIS!" Hey I didn't say that! I just opened my mouth when Dante interrupted the interview, obviously he was bored.

"No my polite little brother! I think he is talking about Beowulf." My audience from the mental-retarded-club is still not understanding, as Dante isn't, so Vergil deigns to put it in plain words.

"Beowulf originally was the hero of the oldest Germanic saga in ancient English language. He defeated the enemies that threatened his country but finally died in the fight with a mighty dragon. As in DMC 3 I am killing a Beowulf, who you couldn't cope with, very easy, some people may equate me with that mighty dragon."

Dante is commenting that a dragon is still an ugly, fat creature with stinging halitosis. Vergil does not agree with him, neither me.

"Mr. Dante! A dragon's not fat it is enormous, it is not ugly, but impressively awful and certainly a dragons breath smells not much different than a just shot gun, what should please you. Beside of this dragons are intelligent and noble creatures!"

Wow! For the first time I got the whole audience on my side! Dante does not like me even a bit anymore and as his brother is skimming over Yamato's scabbard, he sits down in the background again.

Cheeky girl with freckles: giggling "Are you wearing your sword on the left or on the right side?" giggling He looks a bit confused and I'm expecting something terrible...

"Pardon? You can see it in the game. I'm wearing my sword on the left side for I'm right-handed." The girl still stands and waits for the answer she thinks of.

"Hem... Mr. Vergil... I presume she uses sword as an expression for a word she is to bashful to say." Damn! With this Beowulf stuff we nearly reached an educational level... Oh THAT look as he realises what she can't say!

"I see... We skidded down to this kind of questions again, yes?" Dante is laughing in the background, meanwhile the girl is still giggling in MY foreground.

"Well it's just... there's this promotion picture of you in the internet. The one with the dark green leather trousers and they seem to be somewhat tight, so my friends and me wagered which side... I said left, because on the pic it looks a bit like that if one focuses your crotch really closely. And one can hardly look somewhere else 'cause you stand there with 'legs wide open'!"

Ok next time we don't sell tickets to girls still in puberty! But confessed... we're all a bit interested in that, aren't we?

"Since he was Mundus toy he has a little problem with getting his legs together, but don't ask me why!" Remarkable, Dante didn't even look up from the book he found, for deriding his brother.

"Remember Dante! This place is mine, it belongs to me!" bookshelf's squashing Dante We are hard thinking about how he arranged that.

Suddenly we're caught in some kind of déjà-vue... The door flings open and against Dante's head, but this time we actually can't see who that is, because Vergil's head is in our sight.

"Hey Verg! Wanted to wash my hair, but my shampoo's empty. Can I use yas? Huh? Who's that guy lying on the floor, ya bro?" Well a female voice at least... "WHAT BITCH IS LOITERING IN HONEY'S HOME!" Do I have to say that these were the guys from –VIVP- ?

Vergil is shocked his eyes are widened; he's a bit aghast, but just a bit... Slowly he turns his head to the woman we can't see till now. But we can see Dante; he just stares up from the floor, dribbling. Vergil twitches...

"FOR HELL'S SAKE! GET SOME CLOTHES ON!" We actually are able to see the woman now... so that's Vergil's type? Long black hair and big breasts...

"But I'm wearing something, dunno what problem ya got!" Suddenly the fucking screen is black again. No wait, it's just Vergil's palm covering the camera. Shall we try some palmistry?

"A TOWEL SWATHED ROUND YOUR HIP DOES NOT MEAN WEARING SOMETHING!" She laughs at him than we hear a flap and she shouts:

"HEY YA MORON! THE ONLY DESCENDANT OF SPARDA WHO'S ALLOWED TO GRAB MY ASS IS VERGIL! Yes, yes I get something to dress." Oh we got view again. Vergil shoves her out of the room, he's much more successful with her than Dante with Trish. Boah! Those two enormous strange scars on her back are really weird!

"I thought humans are scum, brother!" Vergil closes the door and leans against it, relieved. Than he comes back to the camera, answering his twin.

"Who said she is a human? She is a half-blood!" He glares into the camera at us, a slight shivering runs through the rows. He asks us how much we've seen... We pretend: nothing 'cause we like our life.

"So she's a half-demon like we are?" Vergil shakes his head, he seems as if he does not really want to tell something about her. It's just a lot of hum and haw. Dante is poking him in the side, playing his favourite brother.

"OK I TELL YOU! She's no half-demon... actually she's from... the other part..." Dante does not understand, the same like we! At the moment he looks a bit mental impaired.

"Oh for hell's sake, you're not that dim, are you? Haven't you seen the marks on her back? She is a... half-angel...Ok the cat's out of the bag! Satisfied!" Vergil is demanding for questions from us now. I'm worried about my audience... He doesn't really believe they won't ask him concerning her?

Girl from the –VIVP-, slightly shy: "We can unlock a lot of things in the games, like playing as various Dantes, his sidekicks, or even Sparda. Why can't we play as... well... you?" Hey my audience seems to be cleverer than I thought it to be. Thanks girl, a serious question.

"I'm very individual. I don't want someone to play as me, or with me. The fight against the Arkham beast with Dante was something I really hated." That's sad actually so we furthermore have to play as Sparda and imagine him to be Vergil with that back skimmed hair and Yamato...

"The only one who can play with him is that lil seraph with the big boobs!" Vergil swirls round to Dante. Uhh the demon hunter wears his 'JACKPOT' grin.

"Vergil's got a girlfriend, Vergil's got a girlfriend. The Gil got a girl! Vergy and Angy sitting in a tree..." He really starts singing that stupid, childish thing? How old is he, ten? No that would be an affront to every ten year old.

"Hey! Why are you doing this Dante, huh? Did I ever mess up one of your interviews!" Imagine he first hadn't wanted to give one and now he's pissed because Dante screwed it!

"Not mine, but Trish's!" Vergil is completely stunned, beside... who is interviewing Trish? Surely it was one of my male colleagues.

"Forgotten? She had an important interview with Arkanus! And you freaked out totally!" Oh now I remember! Of course! Arkanus! I was in the crowd when he did the interview with Trish! He brought me to the idea of making my own show. Hey right! Vergil behaved really a bit strange there... a bit VERY strange!

"And have you forgotten why I freaked out? You and Trish were apart at this time and YOU wanted to screw her interview! So you invited me in my N.A. form and even Mundus! And then you gave me some coffee, although I normally don't drink coffee!" Dante invited Mundus and Nelo Angelo? Weird! No coffee? Oh yes of course, have to explain that to the audience.

"No coffee 'cause the caffeine makes the hands shaking and that's bad for fighting!" He shortly glances at us. Yes we're still watching, but please argue on!

"Right! And you know what makes the hands shake even more? When you're moony, dim-witted, dumb, dense, brainless, little brother put lots of Charlie into your coffee!" Whole studio listens up. Well... that would explain his behaviour then! Vergil on coke...Yes that explains a lot... especially this theatrical pretended death...

"Hey, wait! Are you calling me stupid!" Huh? Oh Dante already figured that out? He's really fast...

"Why! Yes, I suppose I am!" Seems as if Vergil is in the mood for a fight. That'll be great and we don't have to collect red orbs for it! Both are drawing their swords... Uhh tension is rising... They get ready... audience starts biting nails... They dash off and strike. --- MY! FANTASTIC! THE IDIOTS HAVE KILLED THE PC! Slowly this is getting boring, isn't it?

"Dante! I'll sue you! You know how much I paid for the damn thing!" Huh? Do we have sound? Yes we have! Good Lord thank you!

"Vergil, can you hear me?" Oh please, we nearly finished the show, don't bungle it now!

"Semiramis? I think we should stop this here it has no sense anymore... DANTE FUCK OFF!... I'm sorry for your show, but we should quit. You can't see us, we can't see you..." NO! NO! NO! I'M THE ONE WHO FINISHES THE SHOW AND I SAY WE GO ON!

"Vergil! We talked about your sexual preferences, we even saw it. We talked about your crotch and saw other embarrassing stuff of your brother. Don't you think it may be time to kick your pride in the can and for fuck's sake come into the studio!" Silence at the other end. Did Dante kill him? Surely not, hopefully not! Answer bastard!

"I would... but it's to far for the short time!" The audience is seeing me bursting out in laughter. Hey bloke do you think they made a show master out of me because of my good grammar!

"No prob! I'll teleport you!" From the other end two silly sounding "HUH?" So Dante is still living, too?

"Ancients can use the gift to teleport to places and they can take persons with them!" Still the devil boys don't understand me and the time's running away.

"What is an ancient please?" So I really have to explain? Man! I said we've got no time!

"The ancient winged vampire race with the blue skin and the black feathers. You can't know them. LoK is American. Now shut up and get ready!" Actually I didn't want to do this in public again but this an emergency! So the audience sees me transforming from a human like to the ancient that I am. (Seems mostly like using the devil trigger) Girls shouting and screaming. Men: Boah-ey!

"Well folks we will soon reach the end of the show, but you have to wait for it just a little while. Even I need some minutes to get the twins here. So... you will hate me for this but... COMMERCIAL BREAK!"

I disappear...

_Beside as a Note of thanks for him... I've put a link to the Arkanus interview on my biopage here. _

Commercial break

o

You always wanted to be with your greatest hero? Now you can! Write your own fanfiction of saving the world, killing evil invaders or having several sexual relationships. The only frontier is your ingenuity at ---

o

I in my human form come through the studio door and everyone looks at me. General question: Where's Vergil?

"Hi and welcome to the fourth and last part of –Covert special interviews- brief CSI, this time with Vergil from the DMC series. You may ask where Vergil is. That's your right. And I will answer... HEEEEEEEEEEEEEERE IS ---- VERGIL!"

I shouting and in a very posing way ripping my arm in the direction of the big stage door behind the audience, am presenting them the one they longed for.

The tension is high, slowly the door opens and...

Vergil strides in, Yamato at his side, in his long dark-turquoise leather coat with the white dragon ornament, his dark-olive leather trousers, his dark-grey waistcoat, his brown leather boots... all this makes him looking authoritarian, dignified, cool, elitist, noble, handsome, gorgeous, vicious, sexy, cuddly hem ... well I could go one with this for ages, but it would blow up the transmitting time. Dante comes in, too. Back to Vergil...

Various girls fainting away, various men from –VIVP- getting a hard-on (typical manga sweat drop at the side of my head hoping Vergil didn't see them.) Some girls, mostly Dante fans, shouting "MOTHER-FUCKER!" but then realise this to rather apply to Dante and change to: "GOAT-RAPIST!" and the more formal "DICK-SUCKER!" or the tried and tested "WANKER!"

Some really plucky even throw their plastic cups at him, none hits, one is flying close past his head, he's not even blinking. Dante is buried under a mountain of cups, rancid tomatoes and putrefied eggs. Someone must have sold them in the break; it's not my fault!

Now some girls try to touch Vergil... they fall upon him! Everywhere just girls... GET HIM OUT OF THIS HEAP BEFORE HE'S SUFFOCATING! Suddenly the girls are thrown through the studio. He used the devil trigger to push them away, now he comes up the stairs to my stage, switching off the DT.

Meanwhile his brother fought his way out of the garbage and is following him, but I'm not caring, I'm just stunned because of Vergil.

He places Yamato next to him and sits down in the armchair opposite of me! Whew! Quiver! -Purrrrrr- I can't speak... he's much cooler in real life! Have... to... wrestle... down... my... lechery! STOP STARING AT HIS CROTCH, YOU PUBERTAL GIRL!

Gladly Dante lets himself fall into the armchair next to his brother. That son of Sparda brings me down. I hem several times and hope Vergil hadn't noticed my little 'convulsion'.

"Well hello again, Mr Vergil. And Mr. Dante. I'm happy you found your way to us at last." Vergil smiles moderate and Dante tells me to call them just Dante and Vergil. Quote: "Screw that Mister! Makes fuckin old!" As I'm sure Vergil can speak for himself I look at him, questioning.

He nods... maybe we're getting private. I slap myself because of really spoiled thoughts. "There is one question I always wanted to ask you, Vergil. It is about your age..." He crosses his arms in front of his chest. "Call me self-willed but no questions about that!"

I scratch the back of my head and think about rephrasing what I meant. "Actually it's just about something I don't understand. You are considered as the older of the Sparda sons. But you two are monozygotic twins; you were procreated in exactly the same moment. So how?"

I interpret his disgruntled facial expression as a sign that he doesn't like to be remembered on being one with Dante, years ago. "You should not use words like monozygotic, for such are to high for Dante. This is the first thing, the second is that: what counts is the actual birth. Dante was rather leisurely with it, so I am older than him."

The younger one snorts disparaging. "Man! Just some lousy seconds!" But Vergil looks at him very superior and self-confident. "Exactly eleven minutes and six seconds!" Well that's a clear number. "Why do you know it so exactly?" Dante moans tired of something and gives us the satanistic salute. We're quite astonished, Vergil enlightens us. "You could use your brain and convert it into seconds. Sixhundredsixtysix." Whew! What a surprise sarcasm One demonic twin is sixhundredsixtysix seconds older than the other. But a nice coincident, isn't it?

"Well... I think we should start the quick interrogation round now, we have not that much time..." Perhaps I should explain the rules, for the boys are looking quite confused, well Dante at least.

"Ok... It's very simple. I ask you questions from my little cards here and you have to answer in not much more than five seconds. So be honest and don't think about your answers too much. And Vergil... be honest for hell's sake, even if it scratches your pride!"

Before he can complain I start, of course with the more harmless ones.

What's your favourite colour?- Cerulean.

Which's your favourite weapon?- You're joking? Yes, yes, quick... Yamato but preferred Sparda.

Distrustful glances from Dante, evil smile back from Vergil.

Boys! Keep at the topic! Favourite animal?- Huh?...erm... dragon?

Does not count for animal!- ...Gosh... bat... Nothing else occurred to me right now...

Favourite number?- THIS is rubbish!... 666.

Favourite food?- What? Who cares?

Me cares, audience cares. Say it! –huff Rice with shrimps and sweet-spicy curry sauce...

Favourite beverage?- Dry red wine. Yes, don't look that way Dante!

Favourite relative? – You nasty little ---no, I won't!

Dante glancing at him with an odd look. "C'mon! Tell us! I know you want to!"

Vergil, as my guest it is your duty! – Undecided whether Eva or Sparda, surely not him!

He points at the slightly disappointed Dante, but to say the truth... There is something in Vergil's eyes that tells me he is not really candid towards us.

Ahem...ok...An historical person you like, beside of the 'Roman poet'?- Alexander the Great.

Interesting, why?- Excellent strategist and fighter, ruled a large realm, considered himself to be divine.

Got that! Now a person from the bible, you like. – Cain, do not ask me why!

I can guess, right Dante!

Dante is occupied with the tongue of a brunette fan girl, hopefully neither Trish nor Lady are watching my show!

Favourite time of day?- Midnight.

Favourite planet?- Saturn.

What kind of weather do you like the most. – Autumnal rain.

But it's wet and sombre! Why?- I like melancholy, not many people out there, so I can find tranquillity for my soul.

Uh sounds depressive... matching question: Favourite way of dying?- Your questions are weird! Suicide.

But my questions are weird, yes? So, why suicide?- No one possesses the qualification to beat me. Before some one would get so far to be able to kill me, I'd rather kill my self than taking such a humiliation!

Ok. Last question. Do you like karaoke?- Never tried it, nor fancy to try it.

I mumble something to myself with an evil smile, then we finish the game.

"Well fans. Although this is an interview with Vergil, I am glad that Dante is here, too. He brought us something that will be some real candy for you... –Outtakes- and screwed up scenes from DMC1!"

Vergil looks at me surprised than glares at his brother. "The ones with the –mirror scene- I thought I had destroyed all copies?" Dante shrugs gleeful. "Seems as if you missed a bit!" I don't care much about their little chat and tell my assistant start the video. We turn round to the large screen.

It flickers than we see Dante and Vergil behind the sets from DMC1. They are talking.

"So, what do you think about this Trish?"

"She's just one of thousands of blond bitches, Vergil!"

"Yes, she spends three ours with her makeup, that is more then I need for my armoury!"

"You know what they say? She's not doing one of her stunts herself 'cause she's scared of scratching her nail polish"

Trish appears and waves to them. Both smile back very friendly.

"Hi boys, what's up?"

"Oh hi Trish darling! We really missed you, right Vergil?"

"Yes, erm would you excuse me? I want to ask the producer something?"

They nod, he leaves. Trish turns to Dante.

"Hey who was that bloke, honey?"

"Dunno, never seen this pain in the neck before. He's quite a jerk."

"Probably one of the supernumeraries?"

"Who cares? He's one of the most obtrusively...Hi Vergil!"

Vergil is back he hasn't noticed their talk. Dante excuses himself for he wants to fetch himself a beer. He leaves.

"Oh Vergil, my saviour! That guy was so stupid!"

"I wonder what such a type is doing on our set."

"Can't we hire someone to protect us of blokes like him!"

"The world is full of idiots, sweetheart!"

End of the scene, we stop the video and I turn to the twins.

"So, what was that?" Dante laughs and answers. "Oh we were just fooling around in a break." Vergil commends it, too. "He is right. We did not meant something serious. Or do you really believe I would call Trish my sweetheart?" We deny and go on with the film.

New scene. Trish and Mundus in the big churchlike throne room.

"Master, you called me?"

"Yef Trif! Vergil hafn't deftroyed the devilfhunter!"

"Sorry what?"

"He failed to kill hif brofer!"

"Ahem... what, master?"

"Oh fuck it, fomeone haf ftolen my denturef!"

Director shouting: "CUT!"

Dante and Vergil giggling behind the camera. Vergil grabs Dante and both run.

"Catch us if you can!"

Director smacking his hand against his forehead. "NO MORE ALCOHOL FOR THIS DEVILBOYS!

We don't comment this and look for the next scene.

Two guys in jeans and black T-shirts standing in a dressing room. Backs to the camera.

"Ah! I don't know how you do that!"

"It's simple! Put your hands here! Than you take one foot like this and the other this way!"

"Huh? Like this?"

"Yes right... "

"Ok... I think I got it now!"

"Well, we try it... On the count of three! One, two, three!"

Both start singing and dancing.

"YMCA. It's fun to stay at the YMCA! You can have..."

Girl entering the room.

"Dante, Vergil, your scene!"

The guys turn round, we recognise them.

"Damn it. I nearly got it!"

Both leave the room. End of scene.

We look at the twins quite confused. Both are blushed. "Ahem... We're straight! We were just bored! Right Vergil? Right!" Vergil is extremely embarrassed and can just nod.

New scene. Nelo Angelo is fighting against Dante in the throne room.

He is defeated and plays his theatrical departure.

Lots of groaning and moaning in agony as we are used to it.

Than he breathes the wrong way and starts coughing.

He tremulous has to come down to the floor.

"Oh fuck it, Nelo! You screwed the take! You're so unprofessional! I can't believe it! This costs money, you know? And you are fooling around here. You are such an amateur! "

Nelo still coughing and shivering: "I'm dying here, you moron! Give me a break!"

End of scene.

Vergil is looking very unpleased. "I was indeed nearly suffocating! There was a lot of dust in this stupid room. And my very brother is making me reproaches while I am going to meet my maker!" Dante whistles innocently and looks up to the ceiling. He receives a head nut from Vergil.

Next scene.

Nelo Angelo and Dante are standing on the wall on which they fight for the first time in the game.

They seem to have a pause.

Nelo smokes a self-rolled cigarette.

Dante drinks coffee from a plastic cup.

Leaned onto their swords, they are chatting.

"Did you got the new script? They want to cut my text!"

"Really? How much?"

"Mainly down to some kind of grunting..."

"They're so evil bro! You're such a good actor!"

Nelo nods. "They are curtailing my talent. Just because they have to pay me less then."

Dante shakes his head in disbelieving. Nelo seems to remember something.

"Hey, you know? My makeup artist, this freckled girl with the strange coloured hair, she's pregnant!"

"Oh that's nice! Give her my congratulations!"

"I'll do. You know, She said if it will be a girl she will probably call it Eva."

"That's neat of her. Beside, Tommy from the props invited me to a little shindig. Would you come, too?"

"I would really like to!"

Director shouting: "Ok boys we continue!"

They grab their swords and attack each other like maniacally archenemies. Trying to kill or even mutilate their opponent.

This scene is just funny because they had such a nice hen party before.

End of scene.

"And was it a girl?" Vergil nods but tells us she decided to call it Lilith. So we turn over to the next scene. At its very start Vergil already sighs in anguish.

The room with the melancholy soul and the mirror. Dante comes in, he sticks the sword into the little bust and receives the soul. He turns to the mirror from which his reflection walks towards him. It transforms into Nelo Angelo. We see the men from their chests upward.

"..." Dante seems to have forgotten his text.

Nelo mumbling prompts for Dante. _"This stinking hole was the last place..."_

"... that I've dared finding someone with guts!" Dante seems to remember his text now.

"This stinking hole was the last place that I've dared finding someone without trousers!"

"Huh?" Nelo and we look down at him and discover, he is really not wearing trousers.

Nelo murmurs something: "I'm overstrained... I'm completely overstrained..."

Bewildered but still proudly he walks back through the mirror.

Everyone is quite. Than like lightning they all burst in laughter!

End of scene.

We all stare at Vergil. He looks down totally mortified. "Black shorts with white Playboy bunnies?" He tells me off and says we should continue with the film, if we have to.

Next scene is from DMC3.

We're on the top of the Temen-ni-gru. First fight of the brothers. It' stormy and it pours.

The fight is hard; every moment Vergil should impale Dante...

Suddenly Vergil sneezes heavily, and Dante accidentally impales Vergil.

Vergil coughs and pushes Dante away.

Director shouting: "CUT! Dante! Keep at the script!"

"But that's not my fault! He sneezed!"

Vergil with quite constipated nose: "I'm catching my death of cold!"

Director sighing: "Vergil, please don't exaggerate that much!"

"I am not exaggerating! We are doing this take for the twelfth time. It's draughty up here and I am totally drenched! My underwear already adheres on my skin! I'm not FUCKING EXAGGERATING! Sneezes with mucus"

Director and Dante: "Ugh! Mop up!"

Vergil looks really diseased and infectious. Dante takes a step backwards making a crucifix at Vergil with his fingers.

End of scene.

Next scene, before the last fight of the brothers.

"Give me that!"

"No way! You got your own!"

"But I wanna have that, too!" Slowly they begin to act like little children.

"Na! It's mine. Go away!"

"Giiiiive meee!" Vergil jumps onto Dante and tries to get the other half.

"Get off!"

"I want that!"

Dante rubbing his eyes. "Wuae! Mommy! Vergil's swiping my thingy!"

"Silly sneak!"

"Dumb head!"

"Jackass!"

"Milksop!"

"Bed-wetter!"

"I'm not!"

"Oh yes!"

"No-oh!

"Yea-as!

"No, no, no!"

"Yes, yes, yes!"

"Ten times no!"

"Hundred times yes!"

"Erm...thousand times no!"

"Million times yes!"

"Wait ...Billion times no!"

"Infinite yea-as!"

"Dammit!"

"Muahahahaha!"

Director shouting: "Hadn't I said at the first part... NO MORE ALCOHOL FOR THIS DEVILBOYS?"

End of scene and end of the film.

We turn round again. "This was really funny, wasn't it folks?" The audience agrees with me and slowly we're coming to the finale!

"Vergil... do you remember me asking you whether you like karaoke?" He nods with some kind of uneasiness in his eyes.

"Well you said you wouldn't wanna try it... but this wouldn't be my show if I would give a shit about this!"

I present to them a wonderful karaoke machine! "But I'm a terrible singer! And I don't know the text of one single song!" Viciously I smile and press the button for the random song election.

"This, my dear demon is the sense of karaoke! And don't try to flee we've barricaded all exits!" He sighs and the machine makes its choice! "Norman Greenbaum - Spirit in the sky!" Vergil raises an eyebrow and laughs.

"I won't sing the words: I've never been a sinner, I never sin, I got a friend in Jesus!" We try to convince him, he rests stubborn. But we get his promise to sing the next song the machine will choose. "SLIK- Forever and ever!"

Dante is disappointed, again no real rock song. Vergil seems to dislike this, too. "Isn't that one from the seventies? I really don't..." But he is disturbed by a voice from the audience. Jester jumps up and sings: "Play that funky music, devilboy! Play that funky music right! Play that funky music devilboy! Lay down the boogie and play that funky music till you die!"

Though I hate it to admit it, but the jester is right, or Wild Cherry! And we got Vergil's promise! "Hey! Who let this idiot in my show! Get lost or I'll make the clown weep!" I turn back to Vergil!

"Ok mister! You will sing! But I have a proposal to make... As this is somehow a love song... I could bring your angel here. Then you would have an encouragement." He is considering heavily. Still with some doubts he finally agrees.

A telephone call and five minutes later, the girl with the big boobs is here. I squeeze a microphone in Vergil's hand and start the machine. The organ music the song begins with makes it easier for him. Dante the audience and the half angel decide to play the background.

"As this was the beginning then so it did end, don't let a love become just a friend, oh no! I made you a promise I thought I would keep the candles are rolling, the river runs deep, my love. Didn't you know, didn't you feel, couldn't you tell that it was real?"

He lays his arm around the girls shoulder and sings to her. The lucky one!

"As it was in the beginning then so should it end  
Don't let a lover become just a friend, oh no.  
I made you a promise I vowed I would keep  
The candle 's still burning the river runs deep, my love

Didn't you know, didn't you feel  
Couldn't you tell that it was real  
Couldn't you tell that it was real.

I'll dedicate to you all my love my whole life through  
I'll love you forever and ever ev'ry day ev'ry hour we share  
I'll treasure you I swear I'll love you forever and ever.

What we joined together let none tear apart  
We give one another our hand and our heart, my love  
Ashes to ashes; dust to dust  
Will love last forever I know that it must, my love

Now you can see, now you can feel  
Now you can tell that it was real  
Now you can tell that it was real.

I'll dedicate to you all my love my whole life through.

I'll love you forever and ever ev'ry day ev'ry hour we share  
I'll treasure you I swear I'll love you forever and ever."

Slowly the music turns quieter and we all start clapping, ok the five percent of the audience that hadn't fainted. Weird, funny, but somehow romantic...

"Can we do something now, that rocks!" Actually this is an interview with Vergil, so why caring about Dante's wishes? But hey... how about Vergil rocking da house!

"Ok, you can perform a rock song, but only under the condition that Vergil is the singer and all the audience the background! I want some real bash here!" Everyone agrees, that's nice! Even Vergil seems to be unbound now, but he wants to choose the song himself.

"Dante... I search for one that rocks, but you should not hope for Hard Rock or Death Metal. I prefer the good old Rock, like... Hey, at least one I know and like! Semiramis? Would you please introduce?"

I look onto the display and call out the title. "MEAT LOAF- ORIGINAL SIN!"

Dante gets Nevan out, why didn't I notice he got it with him? Who cares, I think this will be cool.

It starts with a good guitar solo and then a slow almost spoken stanza that turns into really rhythmic music...

"I've been looking for an original sin  
One with a twist and a bit of a spin  
And since I've done all the old ones  
Till they've all been done in  
Now I'm just looking -  
Then I'm gone with the wind -  
Endlessly searching for an original sin

You can dance forever, you got a fire in your feet  
But will it ever be enough? You know that it'll never be enough  
You can fly in never land and never need to sleep  
But will it ever be enough? You know that it'll never be enough  
It's not enough to make the nightmares go away  
It's not enough to make the tears run dry  
It's not enough to live a little better every day  
Everything that they taught us was nothing but lies  
Everything they they brought us was nothing but bribes  
But it'll all be over now  
All I wanted was a piece of the night  
I never got an equal share  
When the stars are out of sight  
And the moon is down -  
The natives are so restless tonight

I've been looking for an original sin  
One with a twist and a bit of a spin  
And since I've done all the old ones  
Till they've all been done in  
Now I'm just looking -  
Then I'm gone with the wind -  
Endlessly searching for an original sin

You can lose yourself in pleasure 'til your body's going numb  
But will it ever be enough? You know that it'll never be enough  
You can always take whatever you conceivably could want  
But will it ever be enough? You know that it'll never be enough  
It's not enough to make the nightmares go away  
It's not enough to make the tears run dry  
It's not enough to live a little better every day  
Everything that they taught us was nothing but lies  
Everything that they brought us was nothing but bribes  
But the lies are over now  
All I wanted was a piece of the night  
It never had to get so dark  
When the stars are out of sight  
And the moon is down -  
The natives are so restless tonight

I've been looking for an original sin  
One with a twist and a bit of a spin  
And since I've done all the old ones  
Till they've all been done in  
Now I'm just looking -  
For an original sin  
I've been looking for the ultimate crime  
Infinite victims, infinitesimal time -  
And I'm so very guilty for no reason or rhyme  
So now I'm just looking  
And I'm killing some time -  
Endlessly searching for the ultimate crime

I've been looking for an original sin  
One with a twist and a bit of a spin  
And since I've done all the old ones  
Till they've all been done in  
Now I'm just looking -  
Then I'm gone with the wind  
Endlessly searching for an original sin

I'm applying for a license to thrill  
Going out on the edge, moving in for the kill  
They'll be hell to pay someday  
So put it all on the bill  
Cause we'll always be paying, and paying until  
We're beyond expiration, with a license to thrill

I've been looking for an origial sin."

And it ends also almost spoken, oh it's so cool!

"My! Vergil! And you said you were a terrible singer! This was the best I've ever heard...Sadly we haven't got enough time, or I would beg you to perform Meat Loaf's –Bat out of hell-!" He just smiles. Well maybe next time... or I'll organise a little charity-concert... hum... nice idea.

"That's all folks! Vergil, I have to thank you very much! It was all a lot of trouble and embarrassment, but lots of fun, too. And your fans learned plenty interesting stuff about you! I hope we can stay in contact!" We shake hands; he approves and turns to his girlfriend.

Suddenly someone starts shouting and the whole audience joins in...

"KISSING! KISSING! KISSING!" Vergil and the half angle blush. I tell them I'm sorry, this wasn't planned. He very smitten looks at her.

"No matter! Shall we?" She nods.

He glances at the audience, with this... I call it bedroom-gaze... you know what I mean? This resistless thing with the tiny stars twinkling in a man's eyes, that makes all women swoon.

Well he glances at the audience with his bedroom-gaze, skims back his wonderful silver-white hair and kisses the half angel. Obviously his tongue is exploring her mouth with pleasure, while both savour it, eyes closed.

After five minutes even I'm getting nervous, but it is too dreamy to destroy this precious moment. So I let them nibble on each other and as they don't notice anything happening around them, finish my show.

"Folks, what a marvellous ending! Don't forget to review and if you know someone I should interview, make a suggest. I'll probably listen to you! To close with the famous words: Good fight, good night!"

**

* * *

**

Note: Well this it what it feels like... to finish a fanfiction... cool! Yes you can congratulate me, for the first time in my life I've finished a fanfic... can't hardly believe it... And this is even my first DMC fanfiction.

I hope you liked it and my ideas weren't to crazy/ spoiled/ stupid or just improbable.

And especially I hope I did not ridicule Vergil too much... Sorry Vergy, please don't kill me! I have to admit that the spoiled ideas were inspired by something I found out while I was bored in a French lesson (again)... Well just look in a French-English dictionary for the word: 'verge' and you will behold what was my muse. eg

And of course, THANKS FOR YOUR REVIEWS!

Note 2: I'm glad that I've found at least one song that REALLY sounds like Dan Southworth (aka. Vergil's voice) would sing it, well I think so. And if you'd like to hear the songs, I'll probably upload them. On my bio page you'll find the link, than.


	3. Outtro

**I thought I might add some kind of outtro.**

* * *

Producer: Me

Director: Chance

Host: Me

Actors: Vergil, Dante, Trish, Lady/Mary, Arkham, Seraph, Audience, Me, some other peoples

Songs: Meat Loaf - Original Sin, Slik - Forever and Ever

_I want to thank the **local Lunatic asylum** for lending me their patients as my audience._

_I want to thank **Windows** for Win XP (sarcasm)_

_I want to thank **ALL THE NICE PEOPLE WHO REVIEWED THIS!**_

_I want to thank the very **people that created Devil May Cry** and its characters._

_I especially want to thank **Mr. "Power Ranger" Dan Southworth** for giving Vergil such a vicious, sexy little voice!_

_I as well would like to thank **Meat Loaf** and** Slik** for their wonderfull songs._

_And I want to thank **Steve Barton** for inspiring me and acting the best white-hair villain ever and performing the wonderfullst version of Original Sin in "dance of the vampires" We miss you Steve_

_I used his performing of Von Krolock for some parts of Vergil's character here._

* * *

Oh screw it, I 'll give you one more! 

In the room of the melancholy soul---

Dante starring at Nelo Angelo.

Nelo Angelo is heavy breathing.

Dante: This stinking hole was the last place that I've dared finding someone with guts

Nelo+breathing heavy+

Dante: ...

Nelo+heavy breathing+ Use the dark side of the force!

Dante: You can talk+stunned+

Nelo+heavy breathing+ Follow me to the dark side!

Dante: I will never follow you! You've killed my brother! I know it!

Nelo+heavy breathing+ I am your brother, Luke! °o°''' +heavy breathing+... I mean Dante!

Dante: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Director: I FEARED IT WAS A TERRIBLE IDEA TO LET THEM WATCH STAR WARS FOR THREE DAYS!

**Note: Nelo Angelo allways reminded me at Darth Vader... and when we found out he is Dante's brother... Well it is pretty obvious where they got this idea from, isn't it!**


End file.
